A Date?

This has been one of the hardest weekend I have had this semester, at least so far. I am still trying to sort through the mess of emotions, attitudes, motivations and expectations. I don't know when it started exactly, but I know that it is not finished yet, I am still having a hard time.

I will say that we had a good time in seeing the opera and doing other things in NYC in terms of events, but through there was a tension that existed between Rachel and I, then toward the end of the day and into today that tension is within me. What existed between Rachel and I was false expectations for the day and for each other. What we had planed did not happen and I began mentally to blame Rachel for was happening. Later I found out that she also had tension related to her expectations for the day, which I and the day where not living up to for her. To figure this out took 4 or so hours wondering through New York.

I laugh at this because it has happened before with Rachel and I. Whenever we have the chance to go on a longer date, like for a whole day or more than one day, God has usually had us work through a bigger problem. This time it we dealt with our expectations and where we found our satisfaction. We had false expectations on the other person that they could not meet, and so neither of us were satisfied with the situation. After realizing our error we turned our expectations to God, let him plan our day. As a result we found satisfaction in God as we focused more and more on Him with the remaining part of the day.

It is cool to see how once God is the focus, everything else seems to make itself right.

As for my parents, I don't know to much more right now. Last I checked they had another session this past Monday and Dad is still searching with the different books that he is reading.

Right now I am just discouraged, having a hard time pressing on toward the prize. I know it is there and greater than my trials, but that doesn't always make it easier to fight for. I am spiritually tired, and being at school for bible, believe it or not, doesn't help much.

Pray that I would find encouragement tomorrow at church and while doing ministry. Pray also that I would be an encouragement to others as we go through life together on this earth as pilgrims and exiles. Finally pray for my family, they have made more progress in the last three weeks to my knowledge than ever before in my life. It is a wonderful things God is doing. Praise the Lord.

Later