To be honest, I wasn't sure what God had planned for me out here in Ohio. I thought that I would work at this internship, get training for ministry, and get a job as a youth pastor with little to no complications. I was planning on learning some things, yeah, but nothing huge. Just ministry ideas, different strategies, etc. Man. Was I wrong. I think it has partly to do with me praying to be humbled, either way God is doing a number on my faith and making me walk my talk.
When I came out here to Ohio, I literally knew one person in my area. I knew him by email only for three months on a business level relationship. When I came out here to Intern I was for all reasonable purposes alone with no one and nothing. Rachel didn't even have the ability to make much contact since she is at a camp and has no time. Without going into more detail, I was and still am very alone out here in suburbia. What I didn't know at the time is what I believe God is trying to accomplish.
Relationships are my main source of resources, and if I have non I am at a loss. I believe that God has planned my situation to made me rely on Him with everything. Since I have no job, good friends, or other resources at my disposal I have to rely on God for even the events in a normal day. I don't have much choice in the matter. From my finite, human perspective, this is what I see God is trying to accomplish through my different situations that I am in out here in suburbia.
Lack of material resources is teaching me to trust God to provide in a very real way. From gas money for Chris and Jenn's wedding, or something small like lunch. God has came through in ways that I couldn't have even imagined nor even fully believe yet. I have had to rely on a Church body that doesn't know me, and ask for help when I normally would do it myself. It is a humbling thing to ask for help, especially when it is something simple like car problems
Having a lack of relationships has pushed me to seek Him completely for relational satisfaction. It is very easy for me to trust in God and friends for satisfaction, or Jesus and Rachel for my relationship needs. My current situation doesn't even allow for that option. I have had to look for my satisfaction completely in Christ alone. I spend far more time with my bible, praying, reading, and just spending time out in the woods thinking. I don't want to say I meet God in the woods, but when everything else is gone, it provides a time for clear thinking free from distractions where I am more able to think about and pray to God.
It is a crazy adventure to trust God through these events over the last few weeks. I am surely not done learning what God would like me to learn from this. I know that I haven't even done justice explaining what I have learned so far. It has been like spiritual boot-camp for me out here. I am getting hammered - in a good way - in all areas of my life so that I will begin to truly trust in God and give up areas in my life that I didn't even realize I was holding onto. It is a strange thing to trust in the living God when I am totally alone.
Blessings
Later
Simply a pilgrim, looking for that city whose builder and maker is God, who enjoys bringing others along on the journey.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Life as an Intern - week 5
It is hard to believe that it has already been 5 weeks since I arrived out here. I feel like I just left PA not more than a week or two ago. Yet here I am, fending for myself out in this crazy place called Ohio. Granted it has some nice parts, but I would rather be lost in the woods. People are so stressed out here, and everyone is in a hurry to go no where. Also, a lot of younger people spend their money on things that I would deem unimportant, or useless. It is a strange culture out here in Ohio, but I suppose someone has to live here. As for ministry, boy do people need Jesus (Just kidding, but seriously).
One of the biggest things that I am facing now is being alone. I know I have people around me all the time and I would in a office with other people, but I still don't have any close friends or people to hang out with regularly. It is still very possible for me to spend the weekend alone - especially since kyle is gone most weekends. I am alone, but not lonely. There is a difference.
I heard something the other day that made a take comfort in being alone. A preacher said that Christ spent a lot of time being alone. He was rejected and always on the move. I am sure that he felt alone even with people around. And I am supposed to follow Christ, which means that I might spend sometime alone.
I suppose that is all I have to update about this week. Not a whole lot is going on right now. But I sure wish there would be another intern out here with me. Make the time go by faster if anything.
Blessings
Later
One of the biggest things that I am facing now is being alone. I know I have people around me all the time and I would in a office with other people, but I still don't have any close friends or people to hang out with regularly. It is still very possible for me to spend the weekend alone - especially since kyle is gone most weekends. I am alone, but not lonely. There is a difference.
I heard something the other day that made a take comfort in being alone. A preacher said that Christ spent a lot of time being alone. He was rejected and always on the move. I am sure that he felt alone even with people around. And I am supposed to follow Christ, which means that I might spend sometime alone.
I suppose that is all I have to update about this week. Not a whole lot is going on right now. But I sure wish there would be another intern out here with me. Make the time go by faster if anything.
Blessings
Later
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Bike Trip
This picture was taken while I was riding my bike on the way back up from peninsula OH during our youth group bike trip. What a ride! I am covered in mud right now.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Treasure hunting
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
For all the men out there
I don't agree with everything that this guy says, but it was worth the read and gave me something to consider for sure. I dare you to read it and consider it yourself.
http://www.danoah.com/2010/10/worthless-women-and-men-who-make-them.html#idc-cover
Blessings
Later
http://www.danoah.com/2010/10/worthless-women-and-men-who-make-them.html#idc-cover
Blessings
Later
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Life as an Intern - week 4
Each new week has brought new challenges, and I have not been prepared for them in the least. Now, unmet challenges are compounding on each other and I am getting in over my head. Dealing with unemployment, new environment without friends, first time in ministry, and who knows what will come next. I pray that God would prepare me enough to face the trials that come my way.
Rick and I had a very important conversation on Thursday. He explained why I sat at my desk planning all kinds of events and lessons and wasn't doing something else. "Relationships" he said. That is why we plan and organize everything we do, so that relationships can happen in a seemingly natural way. My job, from my new understanding, is to program events and situations in such a way that our leaders can walk in and have meaningful relationships with students. Everything from how the couch is positioned to what we speak on each day. The goal is people's growth through relationships.
Once I understood this everything else clicked into place. I suddenly have purpose to this "task" that I have been given. I see why we had certain elements of ministry that I would otherwise think unimportant in light of this truth about ministry. It is no long just task, but opportunities to position people so that they can have great relationships with students and each other, building together until we all attain unity and godliness.
I met with my new "life group" for the first time. a life group is basically a small group of people that meet somewhere once or more a week and share life together. My group of people are all new, either to the group or to the area. We are starting fresh. When we met everyone didn't really know what to do, no one knew each other. We finally played a dice game until we were more comfortable with each other. Everyone there desires community and friends, but that takes time. There was a lot of excitement about meeting new people, and I look forward to making new friends within the group. I am sure that you will hear more about my life group in future post.
An old friend of mine from college is visiting today. We're going out to lunch and might hang out for a bit. I have not seen or heard from him in roughly 2 years, I am excited to see what God has done with his life and where he is going to lead him.
Father's day is Sunday. Every year is different. I never know what to expect. Two years ago I got Dad a bike and he loved it. He never rode it, but he love it just the same. Last year I think I go him a card with super-man on it. He enjoyed that as well. This year I nearly forgot until a day or two ago. I still don't know what I am going to get him though. I am likely to just write him a letter about how cool I think he is. I wish I had planned more for this. He his hurting so much from everything going on at home, days like these can either go great or horrible depending on who calls or what is happening. I hope that I can make it a good day for him. Not that I want to be known for making it a great day, but because I think it will be good for him to receive appreciation for once in a while. I guess while find out how it goes on Sunday. Happy father's day y'all.
Blessings
Later
Rick and I had a very important conversation on Thursday. He explained why I sat at my desk planning all kinds of events and lessons and wasn't doing something else. "Relationships" he said. That is why we plan and organize everything we do, so that relationships can happen in a seemingly natural way. My job, from my new understanding, is to program events and situations in such a way that our leaders can walk in and have meaningful relationships with students. Everything from how the couch is positioned to what we speak on each day. The goal is people's growth through relationships.
Once I understood this everything else clicked into place. I suddenly have purpose to this "task" that I have been given. I see why we had certain elements of ministry that I would otherwise think unimportant in light of this truth about ministry. It is no long just task, but opportunities to position people so that they can have great relationships with students and each other, building together until we all attain unity and godliness.
I met with my new "life group" for the first time. a life group is basically a small group of people that meet somewhere once or more a week and share life together. My group of people are all new, either to the group or to the area. We are starting fresh. When we met everyone didn't really know what to do, no one knew each other. We finally played a dice game until we were more comfortable with each other. Everyone there desires community and friends, but that takes time. There was a lot of excitement about meeting new people, and I look forward to making new friends within the group. I am sure that you will hear more about my life group in future post.
An old friend of mine from college is visiting today. We're going out to lunch and might hang out for a bit. I have not seen or heard from him in roughly 2 years, I am excited to see what God has done with his life and where he is going to lead him.
Father's day is Sunday. Every year is different. I never know what to expect. Two years ago I got Dad a bike and he loved it. He never rode it, but he love it just the same. Last year I think I go him a card with super-man on it. He enjoyed that as well. This year I nearly forgot until a day or two ago. I still don't know what I am going to get him though. I am likely to just write him a letter about how cool I think he is. I wish I had planned more for this. He his hurting so much from everything going on at home, days like these can either go great or horrible depending on who calls or what is happening. I hope that I can make it a good day for him. Not that I want to be known for making it a great day, but because I think it will be good for him to receive appreciation for once in a while. I guess while find out how it goes on Sunday. Happy father's day y'all.
Blessings
Later
Friday, June 17, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Update on Dad
My heart broke this morning. The way a son feels when his dad says he is proud of him. He sent me an email sharing the verse of the day:
This not only means that dad is getting a verse of the day, but that he reads them too. Praise the Lord. The fact that he is proud of me is great, but only second to the fact that he is hearing about God.
Later
Proverbs 23:24
The father of a righteous child has great joy; a man who fathers a wise son rejoices in him.This not only means that dad is getting a verse of the day, but that he reads them too. Praise the Lord. The fact that he is proud of me is great, but only second to the fact that he is hearing about God.
Later
Monday, June 13, 2011
Life as an Intern - week 3
I have now been an Intern here at church for 3 weeks. At times it feels much longer than that, other times I feel like I just got here. I have made some good friends already and expect to make many more. I have had at least one stressful weekend since getting here, but I hardly think it will be my last. This is the summer where everything is relaxed. I can't imagine what the fall school year is going to look like. High tension, lots of pressure, multiple events, planing. It can become very stressful.
We interviewed another guy for the internship over the weekend. Another Bible college student from the college I came from. He graduated the spring that I came in and has been in ministry situations ever since. He is very different from me, nearly opposite in every way. Even the intern director, Rick, laughed at how vastly different the two of us are. He has all the qualities that I don't, nor does he have the qualities that I have. We complement each other nicely. The problem is we hit-heads. hard.
I don't get annoyed easily. It times a really really long time for me to get upset at just about anything. I am more likely to break down and cry before I get angry at someone. Yet this guy is able to get under my skin in a matter of minutes. I honestly didn't know that anyone could do that to me without even trying.
Even though we hit-heads, he is exactly what I would need to make this internship more profitable. I heard about the previous interns, how the fought and argued and grew from it, I knew that would be something unlikely for me to experience. At the time I couldn't think of anyone that would provide that kind of environment for me. That changed. I believe that this potential intern is exactly what I would hate the most, and would also probably be the most help to me. We'll see what happens I guess.
The fundraiser went okay this weekend. Not nearly as well as we were hoping for of course. Had a few miscalculations or unexpected situations come up that cost us some income. In the end we made a large profit and had a chance to interact with the community around us and with different students involved. I would say in the end a success on various levels. Today we're talking over possible changes for next year and review what went well this year.
Blessings
Later
We interviewed another guy for the internship over the weekend. Another Bible college student from the college I came from. He graduated the spring that I came in and has been in ministry situations ever since. He is very different from me, nearly opposite in every way. Even the intern director, Rick, laughed at how vastly different the two of us are. He has all the qualities that I don't, nor does he have the qualities that I have. We complement each other nicely. The problem is we hit-heads. hard.
I don't get annoyed easily. It times a really really long time for me to get upset at just about anything. I am more likely to break down and cry before I get angry at someone. Yet this guy is able to get under my skin in a matter of minutes. I honestly didn't know that anyone could do that to me without even trying.
Even though we hit-heads, he is exactly what I would need to make this internship more profitable. I heard about the previous interns, how the fought and argued and grew from it, I knew that would be something unlikely for me to experience. At the time I couldn't think of anyone that would provide that kind of environment for me. That changed. I believe that this potential intern is exactly what I would hate the most, and would also probably be the most help to me. We'll see what happens I guess.
The fundraiser went okay this weekend. Not nearly as well as we were hoping for of course. Had a few miscalculations or unexpected situations come up that cost us some income. In the end we made a large profit and had a chance to interact with the community around us and with different students involved. I would say in the end a success on various levels. Today we're talking over possible changes for next year and review what went well this year.
Blessings
Later
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Car update
The Alternator has successfully been changed and the car is running once again. I have still spent less on my car than I have on my bike. With the new battery and alternator I have spent around $270. I am pretty sure that after everything I have upgraded up my bike and repairs that I have spent nearly $350 on my bike. I am okay with that.
There is a bunch of garage sales this weekend and next. I hope to find a few bikes for my friends that want to start riding. I found one that is pretty nice. It's an old one which makes it even nicer. Either way I am excited about bike shopping this weekend.
Also this weekend we are having a fundraiser for summer camp. We are selling Chick-Fil-A chicken sandwiches. The goal is that we don't have to turn down a single kid from summer camp.
Prayer request:
Later
There is a bunch of garage sales this weekend and next. I hope to find a few bikes for my friends that want to start riding. I found one that is pretty nice. It's an old one which makes it even nicer. Either way I am excited about bike shopping this weekend.
Also this weekend we are having a fundraiser for summer camp. We are selling Chick-Fil-A chicken sandwiches. The goal is that we don't have to turn down a single kid from summer camp.
Prayer request:
- Fundraiser this weekennd
- Another intern is being interviewed this weekend
- That God provides the job that I need
- Rachel starting camp next week as a counselor
- My family - especially my parents and older sister.
Later
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Car repairs
later
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Car update
As most of you know, God provided a car for me within the last 5 weeks along with everything else I needed to make it out to Ohio for this internship. Since receiving the car I thought that I would give a little update about it. I want to let everyone know how it is running and how I am using it for the internship.
The car is seeing its first of Ohio weather right now, otherwise it has been in a closed garage since getting to Cleveland. The first two or three times I filled it up I put mid-grade into it hoping to get better engine life and mileage out of it. I later found out the car runs best on regular "cheap stuff." I put Rain-X on the windshield this morning, just in time for the rain that is hitting hard as I type. In the city the car has been getting about 25 miles per gallon, and I haven't had the chance to do a highway trip without a ton of stuff in the car. I'll try and remember to check that when I go out to PA to see Rachel.
Now for the bad news. The battery died the other day and the car wouldn't start at all. The battery wouldn't even hold a charge. It was dead. We managed to get the car running long enough to get to autozone and get a replacement battery ($112), but said the alternator is also going bad. I have looked into that a little bit and it looks like another $100 or more. The car is running okay right now, but I fear it could die at any time, even when running. I have been keeping my bike on top in the event the car dies when I am away from home I can just ride home. I would rather not do that though.
I talked with a few people about getting it fixed on Sunday. One said he would pay for a new one, another said he would fix it. The first backed out when he heard the price (with man hours) of nearly $600. The other seemed willing, but he isn't free until either Wednesday or Thursday. I hope the battery last that long.
I believe that God provide that car only for what I need, nothing more. If I need to continue to trust that he will provide even when things start failing, I will continue to trust. I will just tell you this - I did not expect my car to provide me with spiritual lessons on providence, trust, and stewardship.
When I received the car I was asked the name of it. At first I thought of things life providence, or something along those lines. The more I heard about what it looked like on the giving end of things, the more I realized this was just as much about them as it was about me. Their is a Greek word that kind of represents that idea. The word is Doron (do'-ron), it means gift. Focusing on the free nature of the gift. It is not something coerced, but rather spontaneous. It is just as much about the giver as the receiver. Unless someone comes up with something else, Doron is the name of my car.
Later
The car is seeing its first of Ohio weather right now, otherwise it has been in a closed garage since getting to Cleveland. The first two or three times I filled it up I put mid-grade into it hoping to get better engine life and mileage out of it. I later found out the car runs best on regular "cheap stuff." I put Rain-X on the windshield this morning, just in time for the rain that is hitting hard as I type. In the city the car has been getting about 25 miles per gallon, and I haven't had the chance to do a highway trip without a ton of stuff in the car. I'll try and remember to check that when I go out to PA to see Rachel.
Now for the bad news. The battery died the other day and the car wouldn't start at all. The battery wouldn't even hold a charge. It was dead. We managed to get the car running long enough to get to autozone and get a replacement battery ($112), but said the alternator is also going bad. I have looked into that a little bit and it looks like another $100 or more. The car is running okay right now, but I fear it could die at any time, even when running. I have been keeping my bike on top in the event the car dies when I am away from home I can just ride home. I would rather not do that though.
I talked with a few people about getting it fixed on Sunday. One said he would pay for a new one, another said he would fix it. The first backed out when he heard the price (with man hours) of nearly $600. The other seemed willing, but he isn't free until either Wednesday or Thursday. I hope the battery last that long.
I believe that God provide that car only for what I need, nothing more. If I need to continue to trust that he will provide even when things start failing, I will continue to trust. I will just tell you this - I did not expect my car to provide me with spiritual lessons on providence, trust, and stewardship.
When I received the car I was asked the name of it. At first I thought of things life providence, or something along those lines. The more I heard about what it looked like on the giving end of things, the more I realized this was just as much about them as it was about me. Their is a Greek word that kind of represents that idea. The word is Doron (do'-ron), it means gift. Focusing on the free nature of the gift. It is not something coerced, but rather spontaneous. It is just as much about the giver as the receiver. Unless someone comes up with something else, Doron is the name of my car.
Later
Monday, June 6, 2011
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Life as an Intern - Week 2
I have written so much about the last two weeks already, but there is still more to be said. Every time that I write something, I remember something else. Each new person I write to involves a different perspective that I didn't think of before.
Right now the biggest thing I my mind is being content. I don't have a job yet, and not a whole lot has started at the internship. This makes me restless and worried. I feel like I have to do something, but there is nothing to do. I believe that God is teaching me to wait on him and be content for now. It is hard because without an income I will be broke soon, yet this is what I believe God has given me to do.
I didn't think that being into ministry or a internship in my case would be so drastically different from Bible College. I thought that I would be prepared and a help to those around me. I believed that all my training at school would set me up.College was incredibly valuable, don't get me wrong, but everything I thought would be important hasn't even been mentioned. What has been used the most is all the subjects that I probably should have pay more attention too. A friend of mine faced the same thing when he went to China for his internship, being over educated and under prepared. Both he and I have taken all the classes we needed, but we never expected that every single thing would be used. I didn't really think that I would use my computer class my first day on the job in ministry
God uses our weaknesses to reveal His strengths. The best place He would have me is when I am unable to do anything on my own. If I had what is necessary for ministry it would lead to pride, which it has in some cases. When I have no idea what is going on, and I have nothing to bring to the table of ministry it leads to nothing other than humility.
I hope and pray that God would use me.
Later
Right now the biggest thing I my mind is being content. I don't have a job yet, and not a whole lot has started at the internship. This makes me restless and worried. I feel like I have to do something, but there is nothing to do. I believe that God is teaching me to wait on him and be content for now. It is hard because without an income I will be broke soon, yet this is what I believe God has given me to do.
I didn't think that being into ministry or a internship in my case would be so drastically different from Bible College. I thought that I would be prepared and a help to those around me. I believed that all my training at school would set me up.College was incredibly valuable, don't get me wrong, but everything I thought would be important hasn't even been mentioned. What has been used the most is all the subjects that I probably should have pay more attention too. A friend of mine faced the same thing when he went to China for his internship, being over educated and under prepared. Both he and I have taken all the classes we needed, but we never expected that every single thing would be used. I didn't really think that I would use my computer class my first day on the job in ministry
God uses our weaknesses to reveal His strengths. The best place He would have me is when I am unable to do anything on my own. If I had what is necessary for ministry it would lead to pride, which it has in some cases. When I have no idea what is going on, and I have nothing to bring to the table of ministry it leads to nothing other than humility.
I hope and pray that God would use me.
Later
Friday, June 3, 2011
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