Long story short, I was showing off on my bike and then I crashed.
Pride before the fall.
I got some pretty sweet cuts and bruises, they feel far worse then they look - especially when it came time to wash them out!
I worked this weekend. Granted it was with a temp agency, but it was still work. I can work as much or as little as I want with them and they are flexible about when thing come up last minute. The down side is that I drove nearly 100 miles going to and from the locations they had for me and they only pay minimum wage. The good new is that I still made a little bit of profit from the deal. The better new is that I took a job 5 miles from were I am staying and they will pay me a little more then minimum, they said they would give me a raise, and I start tomorrow! I am looking forward to getting into a routine with work again. I mostly look forward to having some money so I can get Rachel something. That would be nice.
I have to be very careful that I continue to trust God to provide for me. I can see myself very easily falling into the trap of independence from God. But something that I have been reminded of even today is that I need to daily surrender my life and my will to God. The Christian faith was started by Christ surrender, and it is lived out by daily surrendering our lives to Christ. I once though that being a Christian in America was easy, I know am beginning to understand that is far harder than I realize. To give up control that is so easy to hold onto. To surrender power that is quickly gained. To lose my "wonderful" life that is so highly sought after. I don't see anything easy about that after I think about it. The flesh hates to surrender! The Spirit needs our surrender!
Sports camp start tomorrow. Rumor has it that nearly a thousand kids will come through the doors at church. Our hope and prayer is that they will meet strong Christians and possibly has some conversations they could change their life. Camp is all day, all week.
When someone says they would rather be with no one else, it is hard not to miss them.
Blessings,
Later
Simply a pilgrim, looking for that city whose builder and maker is God, who enjoys bringing others along on the journey.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
New Problem
I have a new problem - too many jobs to choose from. Praise the Lord!
I got offered another job yesterday at a local restaurant, I already have the banquet job this I will be working this weekend, and then I will be calling back the pizza shop today and will let them know weather I will be able to work or not. God does some strange things, I'll tell you. I dare you to trust God and see what happens.
I gave up my trust in money, starting tithing again, and now look at where God has got me.
It is a freeing thing to trust in the living God.
Blessings
Later
I got offered another job yesterday at a local restaurant, I already have the banquet job this I will be working this weekend, and then I will be calling back the pizza shop today and will let them know weather I will be able to work or not. God does some strange things, I'll tell you. I dare you to trust God and see what happens.
I gave up my trust in money, starting tithing again, and now look at where God has got me.
It is a freeing thing to trust in the living God.
Blessings
Later
Monday, July 25, 2011
People over programs
I'll be honest, describing summer camp is very difficult for me. So much happens and there isn't any point in time during the week when there isn't learning happening. I could probably write a paper on the experiences of summer camp if put up to it. There is just so much going on all the time.
I am still not sure what happened at camp though. I don't think that I will know the full extent of what happen for another few years. Students made decisions that will change their lives as well as others. Leaders gain relationships that they never had before and took part in conversations that they did not expect. To say that I know what happened at camp would be impossible, so much happened at camp in so many people. To describe that would take years to even figure out, much less write down. What I can tell you about is some of the events that took place and thoughts that went through my mind this week. Even that will take a larger part of this page.
Camp went from Sunday to Friday, by Tuesday morning I am exhausted. I went to bed after 1am and would get up before 7 everyday. The latest I slept was 7:45am on Friday. Every day was filled with events and activities such as swimming, jet-skiing, team games and so many more. What I remember most was what took place outside the programed activities, such as late night conversations with students or man-to-man conversations with the other guys leaders. Those are the things that make camp so valuable, being able to have real conversations where the topic is deeper than events at school, the latest sport event or something else. When conversation reaches that kind of depth, I wish that I could have that with everyone. The ability to take off the mask and be real with each other is something that I value.
The program at camp is far different than anything I had seen before. Almost every place before this would have challenge course stuff, or some other team building activity. At this place, we did none of those things. Instead we played weird games, and different team activities. I didn't think learning could take place in such environments, I thought certain programed things needed to be in place for learning to happen. Man was I wrong. By making such a statement I believe that God is limited to what program a camp uses, which is far from true. God moved at this camp like a hadn't seen before.
I think this would be the major thing that I learned from this pass week, that God uses people and not programs. God can work with or without the latest and greatest programs, He is not limited to what man can organize. I thought the best environment would be without so much "stuff" and free from distractions of media, but like I said before, God moved this passed week like I had never seen before.
Onto less serious business of camp. Monday night I found some students and would play hind and seek with the patrol golf-cart. When the cart would come by we would all run for the hills and hind in the shadows. A fun game the grew more each night we played. Monday night we try to get across the whole campus without being seen. Since the golf cart didn't know we were hiding, it got pretty boring. Until I told the golf cart that is. Tuesday night added a little more excitement and a few more people at first, and by the end of the night we were being cased by the golf cart which was driven by an old cop. Even though there was no danger, it was scary at times running from a golf cart. The students that were involved loved it and made for great conversation later. We also laughed at each other because we were all so sore we couldn't even sit down without having problems. What a grand time.
Blessings
Later
I am still not sure what happened at camp though. I don't think that I will know the full extent of what happen for another few years. Students made decisions that will change their lives as well as others. Leaders gain relationships that they never had before and took part in conversations that they did not expect. To say that I know what happened at camp would be impossible, so much happened at camp in so many people. To describe that would take years to even figure out, much less write down. What I can tell you about is some of the events that took place and thoughts that went through my mind this week. Even that will take a larger part of this page.
Camp went from Sunday to Friday, by Tuesday morning I am exhausted. I went to bed after 1am and would get up before 7 everyday. The latest I slept was 7:45am on Friday. Every day was filled with events and activities such as swimming, jet-skiing, team games and so many more. What I remember most was what took place outside the programed activities, such as late night conversations with students or man-to-man conversations with the other guys leaders. Those are the things that make camp so valuable, being able to have real conversations where the topic is deeper than events at school, the latest sport event or something else. When conversation reaches that kind of depth, I wish that I could have that with everyone. The ability to take off the mask and be real with each other is something that I value.
The program at camp is far different than anything I had seen before. Almost every place before this would have challenge course stuff, or some other team building activity. At this place, we did none of those things. Instead we played weird games, and different team activities. I didn't think learning could take place in such environments, I thought certain programed things needed to be in place for learning to happen. Man was I wrong. By making such a statement I believe that God is limited to what program a camp uses, which is far from true. God moved at this camp like a hadn't seen before.
I think this would be the major thing that I learned from this pass week, that God uses people and not programs. God can work with or without the latest and greatest programs, He is not limited to what man can organize. I thought the best environment would be without so much "stuff" and free from distractions of media, but like I said before, God moved this passed week like I had never seen before.
Onto less serious business of camp. Monday night I found some students and would play hind and seek with the patrol golf-cart. When the cart would come by we would all run for the hills and hind in the shadows. A fun game the grew more each night we played. Monday night we try to get across the whole campus without being seen. Since the golf cart didn't know we were hiding, it got pretty boring. Until I told the golf cart that is. Tuesday night added a little more excitement and a few more people at first, and by the end of the night we were being cased by the golf cart which was driven by an old cop. Even though there was no danger, it was scary at times running from a golf cart. The students that were involved loved it and made for great conversation later. We also laughed at each other because we were all so sore we couldn't even sit down without having problems. What a grand time.
Blessings
Later
Here is something i drew up during the first few nights at summer camp. a chart
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
ER Trip
Played on the slip and slide today and a kid broke his finger. Doing my first ER trip in youth ministry. a lot of time just sitting and waiting. It is a great chance to get to know the student, but also a lot of down time. Makes me appreciate what my youth leaders and parents have done for me in the past. Hopefully this is the only trip that i have to make this week, but i am not going to hold my breath. A lot can happen at summer camp.
Blessings
Later
Blessings
Later
Monday, July 18, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
First night at summer camp. Jeremy hales is the speaker tonight Ephesians 2 is
Blessings,
Later
Saturday, July 16, 2011
No One Can Serve Two Masters - Matt 6
I constantly debate with myself as to the length of these post, whether to make then longer with more detail or keep them short and brief. Today I will write, and whatever comes of it I will post.
To summarize the last few months, I have done nothing, but think - or so it seems. When at college I worked two to three part times jobs on top of school and took pride in them. I worked my way through school with little debt all things considered. I never had a ton of money, but I always had a nice cash flow if I ever wanted something. My savings account is still empty from the first weeks of school, but I have never lacked the ability to get what I needed.
Arriving in Ohio I thought that I would start right up with work and continue with my cash flow and be able to provide for myself when I needed. I was told that I had jobs lined up before I came out here, yet nothing 100%. I acted and behaved as if I had an income and could provide out of my own pocket. I acted exactly how James 4:13-15 tells believers not to act. I thought that I would come to such and such a city, do business and make a profit without even considering what God's plan might be for me in my new location. I would be called a practical atheist - though I believed in God, I did not take His presence nor provision into account for my daily life. I lived life according to my plan and not my own.
I believe at this point God wanted to beat this out of me. So for nearly 8 weeks now I have been without work and without personal provisions. I saved nearly every dollar for gas money that I would use to job hunt. I rode my bike into work as much as possible, I needed to save money to provide for myself. I took up offers for lunch so I wouldn't have to spend my money. I protected it, because without it I was helpless to whatever would come about. The only time that I would spend money was on gas, students and ministry related things, but still I would hesitate. Then recently has been the big blow to my savings, the trip out to PA for the wedding. When taking the trip I constantly complained about how much money I spent and how little I had. Money, not God was on my mind the whole trip. He would change that.
Slowly, over the days and weeks God has been removing my ability to trust in money and cash flow by totally removing my money and cash flow. Come Wednesday I met with Chris H (Not the same Chris that got married) and we got to talking about my situation. He related a story about his friend that tithed while only making $100 a week. My situation is a little different, but the challenge is the same. I felt God challenge me to give up my trust in money, to trust Him and tithe. I argued a long time - "I don't have enough money to fill my gas tank at this point, God. Now you want me to give my money away?! God, this doesn't make sense at all. I understand that you can provide, but this is just crazy, I would have nothing."
That night I read a line out of "The Robe" by Douglas Lloyd. The phrase spoke about life when following Jesus, "When you follow Jesus you will never be rich, but you will never be poor." That hit hard on my heart. I still held onto my trust in money, but God wanted to break me of that. Laying in bed that night I struggled with giving up money and tithing to church with the little that I had. Matthew 6 came to mind, "no one can serve two masters... you cannot serve both money and God." At that point I had an idea what God might be trying to communicate to me. God revealed my worship and idolatry to money. I took pride in work and found my comfort in cash, not in my salvation or God's provision.
Money was my master. Money decided whether I ate lunch, went out with friends, what I did with my car and almost any other activity. I believed in God, but not more than my money. After realizing this I decided my worship needed to change. In trust that God would provide something even when I could not see, I drove my car to church the next day. I payed off bills that could wait. I bought team colored clothes for summer camp even when I didn't have to have them. Money is no longer going to be my master.
The very next day I took an interview with a catering staffing company in Cleveland and got the job. On my way home I applied for a pizza shop and they said they would contact me shortly about starting. While applying for the pizza shop I got a call back from a place on the other side of town wanting to set up an interview. I went from no job or interviews to having multiple interviews and a (pretty sure) job that starts after camp. God is incredible - not because He gave me a job, but because He loves me enough to discipline me to obedience. No one has ever loved me that much before.
I tell people, "people who do drugs are missing out. If you want a real trip, trust God."
It is a freeing thing to trust in the living God.
Blessings,
Later
To summarize the last few months, I have done nothing, but think - or so it seems. When at college I worked two to three part times jobs on top of school and took pride in them. I worked my way through school with little debt all things considered. I never had a ton of money, but I always had a nice cash flow if I ever wanted something. My savings account is still empty from the first weeks of school, but I have never lacked the ability to get what I needed.
Arriving in Ohio I thought that I would start right up with work and continue with my cash flow and be able to provide for myself when I needed. I was told that I had jobs lined up before I came out here, yet nothing 100%. I acted and behaved as if I had an income and could provide out of my own pocket. I acted exactly how James 4:13-15 tells believers not to act. I thought that I would come to such and such a city, do business and make a profit without even considering what God's plan might be for me in my new location. I would be called a practical atheist - though I believed in God, I did not take His presence nor provision into account for my daily life. I lived life according to my plan and not my own.
I believe at this point God wanted to beat this out of me. So for nearly 8 weeks now I have been without work and without personal provisions. I saved nearly every dollar for gas money that I would use to job hunt. I rode my bike into work as much as possible, I needed to save money to provide for myself. I took up offers for lunch so I wouldn't have to spend my money. I protected it, because without it I was helpless to whatever would come about. The only time that I would spend money was on gas, students and ministry related things, but still I would hesitate. Then recently has been the big blow to my savings, the trip out to PA for the wedding. When taking the trip I constantly complained about how much money I spent and how little I had. Money, not God was on my mind the whole trip. He would change that.
Slowly, over the days and weeks God has been removing my ability to trust in money and cash flow by totally removing my money and cash flow. Come Wednesday I met with Chris H (Not the same Chris that got married) and we got to talking about my situation. He related a story about his friend that tithed while only making $100 a week. My situation is a little different, but the challenge is the same. I felt God challenge me to give up my trust in money, to trust Him and tithe. I argued a long time - "I don't have enough money to fill my gas tank at this point, God. Now you want me to give my money away?! God, this doesn't make sense at all. I understand that you can provide, but this is just crazy, I would have nothing."
That night I read a line out of "The Robe" by Douglas Lloyd. The phrase spoke about life when following Jesus, "When you follow Jesus you will never be rich, but you will never be poor." That hit hard on my heart. I still held onto my trust in money, but God wanted to break me of that. Laying in bed that night I struggled with giving up money and tithing to church with the little that I had. Matthew 6 came to mind, "no one can serve two masters... you cannot serve both money and God." At that point I had an idea what God might be trying to communicate to me. God revealed my worship and idolatry to money. I took pride in work and found my comfort in cash, not in my salvation or God's provision.
Money was my master. Money decided whether I ate lunch, went out with friends, what I did with my car and almost any other activity. I believed in God, but not more than my money. After realizing this I decided my worship needed to change. In trust that God would provide something even when I could not see, I drove my car to church the next day. I payed off bills that could wait. I bought team colored clothes for summer camp even when I didn't have to have them. Money is no longer going to be my master.
The very next day I took an interview with a catering staffing company in Cleveland and got the job. On my way home I applied for a pizza shop and they said they would contact me shortly about starting. While applying for the pizza shop I got a call back from a place on the other side of town wanting to set up an interview. I went from no job or interviews to having multiple interviews and a (pretty sure) job that starts after camp. God is incredible - not because He gave me a job, but because He loves me enough to discipline me to obedience. No one has ever loved me that much before.
I tell people, "people who do drugs are missing out. If you want a real trip, trust God."
It is a freeing thing to trust in the living God.
Blessings,
Later
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Chris and Jenn
How do you describe a wedding? How is it possible to articulate affection, especially the affection that leads to marriage? To be honest, I don't think you can. At least not in such a way that does justice to the situation of love. I think that the best way to explain the reality is to witness it.
Over the weekend I saw my good friend Chris, married. I am surprised by how much I am affected by what took place at that wedding. It is the third one that I have ever been, and it was a great privileged to be a part of it. Rachel and I were both over whelmed by the affects of witnessing a wedding, especially of our friends. I had am still having a hard time not thinking of what took place, what it means to commit your life to something or someone.
Dang, I miss Rachel.
Now I am back in Ohio and I'll be honest, it is hard. It is very hard to be away from friends, especially Rachel. I am completely dependent on God plan for me. Depending on whether I get a job or any kind of income, and my whole life. It is both freeing and scary to entrust your life to the living God. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, what I'll be doing if I'll be doing anything at all. I say all this, but I do not forget the joy that knowing Christ brings. Especially now, taking hold of that joy is one of the most important things I can do. One of my Professors from school said this about tough situations: if they take your joy, they win. If the situation the world brings is more powerful that the joy of grace from Jesus Christ, then the world wins.
Another thought has been going through my mind that last few days. Is it easier to praise when there is something to praise, or when there is nothing but the joy of Christ in you? Would praise be worth more when everything is going well and I have reason to praise, or when everything is going south and I have only Christ? Or, getting very personal, would it be easier to praise God with a job and money or with nothing but the shoes on my feet and the day ahead of me?
The reality from my opinion is that praise, when there is nothing to praise but the life that Christ has given you, is when praise really counts. When your life can be summarized but Christ in you, then praise is truly praise. Am I saying that you have to have nothing before you can truly praise Christ, no. What I am saying is that everything else has to be valued as nothing when it comes to knowing Christ and the life He has given.
Blessings,
Later
Over the weekend I saw my good friend Chris, married. I am surprised by how much I am affected by what took place at that wedding. It is the third one that I have ever been, and it was a great privileged to be a part of it. Rachel and I were both over whelmed by the affects of witnessing a wedding, especially of our friends. I had am still having a hard time not thinking of what took place, what it means to commit your life to something or someone.
Dang, I miss Rachel.
Now I am back in Ohio and I'll be honest, it is hard. It is very hard to be away from friends, especially Rachel. I am completely dependent on God plan for me. Depending on whether I get a job or any kind of income, and my whole life. It is both freeing and scary to entrust your life to the living God. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, what I'll be doing if I'll be doing anything at all. I say all this, but I do not forget the joy that knowing Christ brings. Especially now, taking hold of that joy is one of the most important things I can do. One of my Professors from school said this about tough situations: if they take your joy, they win. If the situation the world brings is more powerful that the joy of grace from Jesus Christ, then the world wins.
Another thought has been going through my mind that last few days. Is it easier to praise when there is something to praise, or when there is nothing but the joy of Christ in you? Would praise be worth more when everything is going well and I have reason to praise, or when everything is going south and I have only Christ? Or, getting very personal, would it be easier to praise God with a job and money or with nothing but the shoes on my feet and the day ahead of me?
The reality from my opinion is that praise, when there is nothing to praise but the life that Christ has given you, is when praise really counts. When your life can be summarized but Christ in you, then praise is truly praise. Am I saying that you have to have nothing before you can truly praise Christ, no. What I am saying is that everything else has to be valued as nothing when it comes to knowing Christ and the life He has given.
Blessings,
Later
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Getting ready for the weekend
I missed an update this weekend. I meant to do it over the weekend but went to a fourth of July party instead, I think it was a good exchange. Had a really good time and met some new people and got to know others a little better. Watched a parade, enjoyed some fire works, walked on the beach, and ate some food. Good time.
This weekend is going to be crazy. I leave tomorrow after a brief meeting around 3 then drive 5 hours to NEPA and meet up with a special lady, Rachel. Spend the evening with her and stay with her grandparents for the night. Work with her until lunch and leave for Campus to visit people down there. Before dinner I need to make my way out to Dallas for a wedding rehearsal and then a surprise bachelor party for the groom-to-be. The first thing the following morning I will meet up with Rachel and maybe some other for lunch, hang out a while before going to the wedding at 1pm. The wedding and reception with picture is expected to go until at least 8pm. I might either say another night or leave that night, either way I have a meeting back in Ohio the following afternoon for summer camp. The crazy part is that I have almost no money for gas for this trip. Nearly 900 miles, maybe more is going to have to work with $140 budget. I am excited to see how this is going to work.
Other than the weekend, not a whole lot has been going on. I met with Chris for the second time this morning. 6am is still really early. We are getting to know each other better, and I am excited to see where things might go. I am very thankful that he is excited about this as well. It is good to have a friend, or potential friend, who wants to pursue godliness.
Blessings
Later
This weekend is going to be crazy. I leave tomorrow after a brief meeting around 3 then drive 5 hours to NEPA and meet up with a special lady, Rachel. Spend the evening with her and stay with her grandparents for the night. Work with her until lunch and leave for Campus to visit people down there. Before dinner I need to make my way out to Dallas for a wedding rehearsal and then a surprise bachelor party for the groom-to-be. The first thing the following morning I will meet up with Rachel and maybe some other for lunch, hang out a while before going to the wedding at 1pm. The wedding and reception with picture is expected to go until at least 8pm. I might either say another night or leave that night, either way I have a meeting back in Ohio the following afternoon for summer camp. The crazy part is that I have almost no money for gas for this trip. Nearly 900 miles, maybe more is going to have to work with $140 budget. I am excited to see how this is going to work.
Other than the weekend, not a whole lot has been going on. I met with Chris for the second time this morning. 6am is still really early. We are getting to know each other better, and I am excited to see where things might go. I am very thankful that he is excited about this as well. It is good to have a friend, or potential friend, who wants to pursue godliness.
Blessings
Later
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)