My Story

From my blog thus far you know a good deal about my back story and where I am coming from, but how on earth did I end up where I am now? What kind of journey did God take me on to get me what I am. That is the story that I would like to share with you today.

My story involves many different people who may or may not have known they had an influence on me or still do for some. To my knowledge this is only a few people that have even stayed around and had a lasting impact, most will come and go from my life. That is fine. The contribution that they have left will speak for itself, I know that I would not be anyone close to who I am today without God working through those people.

The first person was a kid from my middle school days named Caleb who was in high school. He dared to move past himself and become a friend of an awkward middle school kid, and simply be a friend. He had invited me over to his house, introduced me to his family and allowed me to walk into his life. The most important thing he did was invite me to his church to hear his story. I had been to church before once or twice, but not there and not to hear what I heard. When he spoke he talked about his exposure to porn, sin is what he called it in his story. He talked about how God hated it and would punish sin.

I had to listen to the story twice, but it finally clicked. I had sin and God hated it. Not only that but there was a punishment that is due for those that sin - something that I did desire to experience. I was completely broken, I went crying to the back for some kind of help to know how to make amends to the problem I found myself in with sin. I man prayed and I agreed to everything he said. So began the journey of my life.

Caleb came over to my house once or twice, and I went over to his house a few different times as well. He taught me how to read the bible, where to start and how to understand it. He told me that I wouldn't get it all at once, or in the first reading but that it would take time and study for it to make sense. Showed me not to be ashamed of the Bible or the gospel that saved me.

I started to go to a close church by my house and became part of the youth group. I met others that were able to lead me and teach me. There was a new youth pastor, PT, that started working with the junior high group. He really didn't do much in terms of teaching that I remember, but he did give me the time of day which is what I needed then. Coming from my house I just wanted someone who would love me - and in his own youth pastor way he did. He answered my nosy questions, help me through my doubt, and prayed for me when I would walk away. A punk for sure, but I like him just the same and think of him often.

PT suggested that I should go to bible college and become a youth pastor. Since he was such an influence on me and I desired to give the same to others, I pursued the idea. After doing my time at community college I began to make plans for a bible college.

Meanwhile, as I am getting ready to make my way to college life I worked and had people come in and out of my life. Camp directors, bosses, parents of friends, and others that are far too many to mention. But their is one that I will mention that will always have an impact on my life. He allowed me to taste what it was like to have a dad and what, I believe, ultimately led to me pursuing my own dad for the relationship that now exist. God worked through this man in such little ways, but made a lasting impact that now affect my brother and sister. All he did was open up his life to me and let me be a part of it. He would help me work through problems, assist me with projects, would take time out of his day and ride bikes with me. He also corrected me when my attitude was wrong, he would stop me from being stupid (most of the time), and wasn't afraid to tell me know if that is what I needed to hear.

It would be wrong of me not to mention his wife as well, who supports him and would also allow me to come over and be a part of their life. Thanks Duane and Alice! Miss you both and can hardly wait to visit.

Now I have arrived at bible college and life gets a kick in the pants. My life at college has been some of the best and worst times of my life for sure. I have hit some of highest, most enjoyable points in life as well as some of the greatest lows. On the one end I learned more and grew faster than I ever had imaged I would, growing in faith, knowledge and love. I gained friendships and had some great times just hanging out. On the flip side my family was still dealing with conflict that I couldn't help with at college, the thought of my sisters at home tore at me. Not being through for my siblings or my church was nearly unbearable at times. Yet God in His timing and plan allowed me to be poor and car-less so that I would be dependent on Him through the hard time. Depend on him I did. I prayed, read, and sometimes cried to God. Sometime He moved, other times he didn't, but He always had a plan and reason. Sometime I would get a glimpse of what He was doing, or even let me be a part of it. IT IS INCREDIBLE. Being a part of something far larger than myself.

Now in my senior year of Bible College God is still working through the lives of people to change me into the image of His son. Some of them are friends that have a great influence on me, other get on my nerves to test my devotion to the one who had perfect patience on me, still others are just people that walk in and out of my life in a day - all working together for good to those who love him (Romans 8:28).

That is my story in God's glory, and my place in the history of grace.

Later