Pride or fear?

This week has gone by much faster than I would have expected. So much to do, so many people to talk to and so little time. I had to purposely not tell people that I am on campus this week just so I would have time to get to everyone that I didn't talk to last time. I do not enjoy doing that, but it keeps the conversations that I do have more meaningful and valuable.

Little recap on the week so far. Tuesday morning we left to head out to the College bright and early. At least that was the plan. After picking up Jim I went to Rick's house to leave, little did I know that saying goodbye to your wife and kid takes more than five minutes. We all talked for a while, played hide the bear with Charlotte (their baby girl), got some orange juice, talked some more... then started to leave. Made me wonder why I had to be there so early if it is going to that long to leave. I realized after watch them interact a while why God got me there early. For just that reason, to watch them interact. It is always a little awkward, but I still enjoy watching couples who love each other interact.

We got to the rental and picked up our... mini van? The car that we rented wasn't there, so they gave us a nicer car for the same price. It is awesome, the van has way more leg room than the small car we would have gotten. I got a foot rest! What more could I have asked for?

I really enjoy coming back to campus every now and again, mostly because Rachel is still here, but other students as well. I have already had a lot of great conversations about life, learning and what comes next. There are days that I honestly think I could talk to people all day. That has basically been my week thus far and I have enjoyed it, the trick for me comes with talking to people that I don't know yet. Though, even that hasn't been too hard while talking with students on campus, I have enjoyed getting to know people that I had never met before.

It is now Thursday morning, a lot has happened this week, there is only a few things I think I will remember about the week though. One of them happened last night when Rachel and I prayed together, she said "I always learn so much about you, though I do feel like I am ease dropping on a conversation." I guess I knew that she would learn about me as I talked with God, it still surprised me when she said it though.

Another thing I will leave with this week is a conversation that I had with a professor. I went to him asking him what I should do next and he asked a totally different set of questions that had nothing to do with what I originally had in mind. I showed him a document that I have been working on for a while based on his decision making model. On this piece of paper I wrote out what I want to do, what I am capable of doing, and what is available for me to do.

To help me figure out what I want to do and like to do, I took the opposite of my fears - which are also written down on the paper. From this idea my professor asked his question, "Is it fear or pride that is at the root of sin?" at which I answered pride. He agreed, but went on to tell me it is very hard to find pride - pride is blinding. He didn't leave me there, he brought me back to the Fall. The first sin is a result of pride, but shortly followed by fear. So, he suggest, fear is a cover for the pride that we have. Ultimately we don't want to be found out for the sin of pride, so we are afraid. That is to say, if I can find and deal with fear my pride is not far behind. Whether I agree with that or not, it is an interesting thought to chew on for a while.

I have a study date with Rachel, which is way more important than this blog.

Blessings from a pilgrim
Later