A punch in the arm

The last couple of days have been crazy, far more memorable than I would have thought. I am still not sure if that is a good thing or not. I drove out to my college with some students to visit Rachel and see her perform in the spring play. She did fantastic. She had a smaller part, but nailed it. I nearly cried a couple of times, it was very powerful. 

The students also really enjoyed the visit to the campus and the college experience. They said it really impacted their lives. We had the opportunity to sit in on a few classes, eat meals with students and enjoy the campus life for a day. We ended our trip with ice cream (and frozen fruit for Rachel and I). The group of students, Rachel and a few others all went down to the local ice cream place and got something to eat.

Something had been building up that finally came to a head at the ice cream shop. One of the students that I brought with me had been joking around about Rachel over the course of the weekend, and it was nagging on me. At first he just mentioned "the cute looking girl in the play" and then made further commented on what she was wearing or how she looked. I should have said that I was getting annoyed or angry, but I made the fault to think I could control my anger. I thought he was done until at the ice cream place he made another comment that pushed my patience to far. I let my emotions get the better of me and slip. 

I punched the kid in the arm. I realized I might have punched him harder than I wanted when he crippled over in pain and started to cry. Regardless of whether I hit him hard or not, I am the one at fault. I would have to bear the consequence or my sin. My lack of self-control. His friends communicated that he was joking, but the reality still hit just as hard. I could lose my job over this, or be imprisoned for something just as playful.

Later when I talked with his parents, the reality again stuck home. The student was okay, but the father said that he could have very easily pressed charges against me. No matter what I say, no matter what really even happened. I am at fault.

Through this whole process I learned the importance of defusing my anger instead of controlling it. I have a long fuse, but it will still go off with enough time and provoking. I need to figure out ways to defuse my anger or address the situation in such a way that I cannot be at fault. One example that I was given: tell the individual that you are getting annoyed and would like them to stop. That is something that I did not do which could have stopped the whole thing. I am still learning....