Back Story

Today I thought that I would fill those who read in with some back story of where I am coming from and what has led up to my family situation currently. What my parents were like growing up, what my siblings were like as well as how they reacted to this situation, some conflict that we dealt with, and a basic overview of my family.

If I could describe my family and home life with a word I think it would be Tension or possibly Messy. It was rarely calm at our house, there was always some kind of argument going around whether it was about one of the kids, moving to a new house, or the condition of the house. An issue that still comes up even today is schooling, and my mom's "stuff" that she has around the house. Church and religion always seemed to cause some tension when it was mentioned at the house, I know that my mom didn't like it and my dad would hesitate about the idea.

My mind is swelling with all the different things that went on at home. I could easily write a few paragraphs about anything that I listed above. I will try and keep it the important things or things that are still current issues.

Schooling is easy. We weren't. We had no schooling what so every, at home or at school. The older ones might have done some grade school but as far as my life was concerned I had no education. My sister finally convinced my mom that it would be a good idea for her to attend college at the age of 18. With a great fight she won and the older girls started college - that being there only education that they know of, mind as well.

My parents had a lessening role in my life as I got older. I remember helping my dad with yard work when I was younger and my mom helping us with lunch, but as soon as we were old enough to fend for ourselves they became less and less involved. Now I have to initiate any conversation to even know what is going on at home, but most of the time I just go to my parents if I need something. Rarely, if ever do I call them just to talk.

Something that all of us kids dealt with was the fighting. My parent's would fight like it was a religion. Every day my dad would come home from work, bring in his bags and be met by my mom and then they would fight for 30 minutes or so before we would have dinner. Sometimes the fights would get so bad that we would try and leave but we weren't allowed to for whatever reason. My mom said that it was tough love as she yelled in my sisters crying face. My older sister tried to take us to the park until things cooled down, still we were told we couldn't be taken and my sister got slap in the face by my mom.
The fighting was so damaging and consistent in our lives that we imagine it even know. If I were to go home and hear a noise from the garage (where they normally fought) I would mentally think that they were fighting and would hear voices even though either of them were home. My baby sister would attest to the same - hearing voices and getting nervous whenever there is tension building to a fight.

Church was something that I just recently learned about over break. For the first time to my knowledge I had a honest heart to heart with my dad for an hour. Granted it was about the issues we were going through and the possibility of a divorce, but it is still the most valued conversation I have had with my dad in my life. We also talked about my dad and mom going to church when they were just married. They were very involved in a church of some religious faith, but my mom would get in peoples faces about going to hell or not believing and before long and that didn't last long. Soon they stopped all together with the idea of church, yet my mom continued in some new age religion or postmodern thought. "As long as you believe in something with your heart you will be okay." and "As long as you have peace within you are bound for heaven." would be things that she would say if you could get her to talk about it.
My sister and I witnessed to her for two hours only to hear her say that she is already saved. We told her that she doesn't act like it, nor does she proclaim it, or anything else we are told christian do when saved by God's wonderful grace. In reply she said that she could accept that no one thought she was a Christian. My sister and I thought that was kind of defeated the purpose of being a christian if no one knows you are and no one believes it if you tell them.

I could go on for hours about things that happen at my house, but I think you get the picture. It is a mess for sure. Yet THIS is what God saved my brother and sisters and I out of. From a Christ-less, Church-less, faithless home we were saved and are growing. My little sister is growing like a weed when it comes to faith because of the consent pressure and trials at home. We were called out of this for a different purpose, and a different life.

I am currently taking a class called "Family Life" at the college, which discusses the roles of parents and the environment of the home. I am very excited to take the class and learn about what the family is suppose to be like when God is central and love is abounding. Some specifics that I would like to learn from the class would be:

• Role(s) of parents
• Husband wife relationship
• Disciplining children
  
• Family devotions
• dealing with conflict
• child parent relationships
• Over all I would like a window into a good family so I can know what one looks like.
  

These may require the teacher to be very transparent about his home or possibly that I read books about people in the past would have been transparent.

In order for this to happen there are two things I believe need to happen. The first is that I need to be willing to open up and deal with my past. The second is that I cannot allow my presuppositions of family life or home life block me from learning. I need to be willing to change and accept the ideas of the teacher.

Other than that all is well on the home front.
Later