Here is the kicker.

Something seemingly insignificant happened to me yesterday. To most people it would probably seem like the most normal thing ever, but to me it was a very strange thing. I am still not so sure that I even enjoyed the event. My supervisor rode his bike into work yesterday - whether it was because I do all the time or not, I do not know - and I drove him home after work. On the way home, him and I got to talking about my family and growing up. Once I was nearly finished talking he put his hand on my shoulder and said, "I'm sorry all that happened to you growing up."

At this point I can imagine you are wondering what is the insignificant event that just took place. If you guessed him putting his hand on my shoulder, you guessed correctly. Physical touch is something of immense valued to me. Physical touch from a father figure, or in a caring way is something I don't know how to explain. It is just... Valuable to me, and I crave it often. Yet it was, and still is something that I receive very infrequently if at all. This is not to say that I enjoy any male touch, I would describe it more as fatherly affection. There have been lots of people that I have come across that are touchy that I just simply do not enjoy even being around. But there is something about a fatherly affection that I crave dearly.

Believe it or not, I don't wish for a different life, nor to a remorse over my past. My past is what it is so that my present could be what it is today. I would not wish for anything to be different, removed or even lighted in the least. If life was any more pleasant or enjoyable, I would not have fled out of the house at the first chance I had. Church. If I could stand being at home, if my relationship with my parents was something even bearable, or if I didn't hate the place I call home with the intensity that I did then I would not have found Christ. I would not have found my true home and family within the Body of Christ, the Church - other people who have found Christ. If any of the above was true I would not have realized the matchless value of knowing Christ who rescued me from all of it. And here is the kicker, I would do it again. If that is what it takes to know Christ, I would do it again.

What absolutely blows my mind is that I have a Heavenly Father who is perfect in love, and wants nothing more that to show his unrelenting affection on his children. Oh, how I wait for that day when I will feel His great embrace! I know that the Bible says that there will be no more crying or wiping in heaven, but if that were not the case, I would cry. I would cry for a very long time as my heavenly father held me in his sweet embrace. I cannot comprehend, nor can I explain how much I am looking forward to this.

Blessings from a pilgrim
Later